Heidi
is the proprietor of a bar in Detroit. She realizes that virtually
all of her customers are unemployed alcoholics and, as such, can
no longer afford to patronize her bar. To solve this problem, she comes
up with a new marketing plan that allows her customers to drink now,
but pay later. She keeps track of the drinks consumed in a ledger (thereby
granting the customers
loans).
Word gets
around about Heidi's "drink now, pay later" marketing strategy and,
as a result,
increasing numbers of customers flood into Heidi's bar. Soon she
has the largest sales volume for any bar in Detroit.
By
providing her customers
freedom from immediate payment demands, Heidi gets no resistance when,
at regular intervals, she substantially increases
her prices for wine and
beer, the most consumed beverages. Consequently,
Heidi's gross sales volume
increases massively.
A young
and dynamic Vice President at the local
bank recognizes that these
customer debts constitute valuable future assets,
and increases Heidi's
borrowing limit. He sees no reason for any undue
concern, since he
has the debts of the Heidi's customers as collateral.
At the
bank's corporate headquarters, expert traders transform
these customer
loans into DRINKBONDS, ALKIBONDS and PUKEBONDS. These securities
are then bundled and traded on international security markets.
Naive investors don't really understand that the securities being
sold to them as AAA secured bonds are really the debts of unemployed
alcoholics.
Nevertheless, the bond prices continuously climb,
and the securities soon
become the hottest-selling items for some of the
nation's leading brokerage
houses.
One day,
even though the bond
prices are still climbing, a risk manager at
the original local bank decides
that the time has come to demand payment
on the debts incurred by the drinkers
at Heidi's bar. He so informs
Heidi.
Heidi
then demands payment
from her alcoholic patrons, but being unemployed
alcoholics they cannot
pay back their drinking debts. Since Heidi
cannot fulfill her loan obligations,
she is forced into bankruptcy.
The bar closes and the eleven
employees lose their jobs.
Overnight, DRINKBONDS, ALKIBONDS and PUKEBONDS
drop in price by 90%. The
collapsed bond asset value destroys the banks
liquidity and prevents it from
issuing new loans, thus freezing credit and
economic activity in the
community.
The
suppliers of Heidi's bar
had granted her generous payment extensions and
had invested their firms' pension
funds in the various BOND securities.
They find they are now faced with
not only having to write off
her bad debt but also with losing over 90% of
the presumed value of the
bonds. Her wine supplier claims bankruptcy, closing
the doors on a family
business that had
endured for three
generations, and her beer supplier is taken over by
a competitor, who
immediately closes the local plant and lays off 150 workers.
Fortunately though, the bank, the brokerage houses and
their respective
executives are saved and bailed out by a multi-billion dollar, no-strings
attached cash infusion from their cronies in Government. The funds
required for this bailout are obtained by new taxes levied on employed, middle-class,
non-drinkers who have never been in Heidi's bar.
That dear friends, is basically, a summary of the financial crash
last year and its consequences!